As my divine *d*i*v*a* ~g~o*d*d~e~s*s* irisdragonfly points out, I am something of a gender duality. I own more makeup than most high femmes I know, and know less about such things as eyelash curlers, curling irons and ironing boards than most male college freshmen. I'm part giggly school girl and part boyish charm. Part guiness part gin and tonic and part mango margarita with just a dash of fine wine and shots. I'm equally at home in a 'wife beater' and too-big pants as I am in a skirt, lace top and stockings. (Okay, honestly I'm more 'at home' in the pants and more 'divatastic' in the skirt.) I have short hair that is alternately barely styled and arrayed with any manner of my *over 300* hair clips.
Okay, so still with me? You say that gender isn't all appearance and alcohol? Good for you. So what else is it? Masculine? Like the way I hate to cry, be wrong, be contradicted, or give up an argument. The way I hate to ask for directions even when I'm utterly lost. Feminine? Like the way I get moody over nothing, need to have 'conversations' and hate to leave an argument for the sake of being late for a meeting. The way I smile and say thank you when people hold doors like I'm being given an Oscar.
Back to more general traits though. I look equally stunning in a suit or a dress. I prefer my partners femmy but never overly feminine. I consider myself a sparkle butch, a butch queen, a fagboi and a tricky femme at any given moment. I tend towards women but continually date feminine (usually bisexual) men. My current partner looks better in nail polish than I do but would look silly in a skirt.
So this is duality, but I don't believe that it is the only part of my 'gender.' I am also poet-gendered, musician-gendered, intellectually gendered and scholarly gendered. I'm young-adult liberal gendered. I'm queerly gendered. I play with gender because gender is a plaything. (I'm also a consumate switch.)
I am the socially agressive partner in my current relationship but I'm slightly more submissive than my partner in the bedroom. I love to penetrate and be penetrated in turn. (Is this getting too TMI?) I love fluidity and role reversal. I love looking full on femme and holding doors and paying the bill. I like putting on a suit or other 'boywear' and being treated like a princess.
I enjoy telling you these things and I hope that you are at least somewhat amused.